December 25, 2021

Are Sadness and Anger Bad?

The holiday season often evokes strong feelings.  I used to think positive emotions like joy and love are good while negative emotions like sadness and anger are bad.  Now I believe that how I react to my emotions is what is good or bad.  When I let moments of joy fly past me unnoticed because I am pre-occupied by internal mental chatter it is bad.  When I stop what I am doing and take a few seconds to appreciate when I am happy it is good.  When I rerun upsetting episodes in my head it is bad.  When I use anger to propel me towards a solution it is good.

When I was young I had the tremendous energy it takes to sustain emotional drama.  A stroke took away the energy I need to stay upset for a long time.  Being snubbed recently reminded me of how intense emotions can be.  I was upset the day I was snubbed.  By the next day -- not so much.        By the third day I remembered letting this person upset me gives her power.  By the fourth day I remembered I was upset for decades when I was young but can not remember most of what upset me.  Hence the irritating platitude -- this too shall pass.  

How I react to my emotions is a conscious choice, but I forget this again and again.  Fortunately, as I get older I remember this insight sooner and suffer less.  homeafterstroke.blogspot.com

3 comments:

  1. You used my favorite phrase, "This too shall pass". It is powerful and has helped me remember there is an end to everything and everything shall have a new beginning.

    You have learned some powerful lessons. I like to think I know that "letting this person upset me gives her power", yet putting practice into knowledge is beyond where I admit I am at times.

    You are very wise. Thanks for sharing these lessons with us. I am glad to see the positive side of your stroke.

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  2. One of my daughters commented recently that I still have a lot of emotional lability as a result of my brain injury.

    I told her that might be party true, but mainly I am choosing not to sit there keeping my mouth shut. What she is now hearing is all the stuff that I used to think and didn't choose to share with my then teenage daughter.

    I actually do have a lot of work to do on learning how to react to strong emotions and criticism . This to shall pass is not my normal reaction.

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