I still wake up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and have trouble falling asleep unless I listen to a meditation CD. However, since reading The Moth Snowstorm - Nature and Joy by Michael McCarthy I have not been waking up with a sense of dread. This book inspired me to sit on my patio every day. The 1st thing I notice is the smell of plants. The sun and cool breeze on my face also feels wonderful. I am entertained by bird drama. One day I saw hawks flying slowly in circles while they looked for prey. A few minutes after the hawks disappeared, I saw one small bird and then two and then a trio flying in a tight triangular formation. The trio flew to the west and disappeared. Then they flew back to the east and disappeared. Finally they flew to the west and did not come back. Another day I saw 6 tiny birds land on a telephone wire with a perfectly synchronized touch down. It was like watching a miniature version of the elite air force flying squad the Blue Angels. Bird TV is better than being aggravated by TV commercials for car insurance that repeat every 7 minutes.
As I sat on my patio I noticed a shadow moving on my walkway. The two photos below were taken 15 minutes apart. Cocooning indoors for months made me completely forget I used to know time was not one momotonous unending event. These images reminded me I used to see each day progress by seeing the angle of the sunlight change when I went outside.
The sound of the wind in the trees behind my house helped me remember a happy childhood memory. My parents rented a cabin in the woods for a summer vacation. I enjoyed a gentle wind blowing in the trees that lulled me to sleep as I lounged on a screened-in porch after lunch.
Being outdoors has helped me pay more attention to my surroundings. Tuning out because I am listening to stories I create in my head has decreased. I feel joy some of the time when good things happens when I am inside. I am getting better. homeafterastroke.blogspot.com
How wonderful! I wish I could get you out to my cottage. You would just love watching the birds and the water and sometimes creatures out there. When I have done different meditation classes or practice by myself one of the requests is to picture your happy place.. and mine is a chair on our porch or a near by big rock- looking at the lake.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds wonderful.
DeleteA type of forest bathing.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're feeling better. I've been able to walk in woods--sometimes with my daughter, sometimes alone--and it has helped me from being consumed by anxiety. I wish I could have a bird feeder for the winter, but there are a few complications.
ReplyDelete