While struggling to get my sound arm out of the sleeve of my coat today, I thought about able-bodied people who insist on helping me. People who grab an object out of my hand make me angry. The last time I was treated this way I was 18 months old. Nothing I have said has stopped people who insist they can quickly do what I am trying to do. They are uncomfortable watching me struggle so they assume I am frustrated. But struggling gives me confidence.
Let me give you an example. I have never gone to bed with my coat on because I live alone. Instead of feeling fear when I walk in my door, I relax because I know repeatedly wiggling my sound arm will get that arm out of its sleeve. I know this because this strategy has never failed. The next time an able-bodied person insists on helping me, I am going to tell then they are stealing an opportunity for me to have faith in persistance. homeafterastroke.blogspot.com
Rebbeca, you would be shocked at how many people I have had to teach how to get a coat on with one side not working. Learned helplessness? Not thinking through the steps? I don't know, but most people can at least help themselves part-way if it occurs to them to want to. The one thing I should say is here we spend a long winter needing heavy coats and even dressing in layers. It is important to have a coat that has a little extra room but still a decent fit. Harder to get a poorly fitting coat on when there is no wiggle room.
ReplyDeleteI get frustrated when I forget the steps or when well-meaning folks offer their gelp and I lose track.
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