How I Feel Less Guilty About Asking For Help

I live alone so I am both a stroke survivor and a caregiver.   I use 7 strategies to keep my volunteers from burning out (18 years) and feel less guilty about asking for help.

1. Prioritize.  I cut down the number of requests by identifying what I need versus what I want.  I need someone to get on a ladder to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

2. Build trust.  People do not need special training to know they are being taken advantage of.  When I ask for help I let my volunteers know I do everything I can before I contact them.  People feel good about helping when they know they are really needed.  This strategy builds trust.

3. My husband would groan rule.  I cannot ask people to do things that would make a husband groan.  I cannot ask someone to buy a live tree, transport it, drag it into my house, use an ax to trim the base so the tree fits in the stand, and tighten and loosen the tree stand to reposition the tree until it is straight.  So I bought an artificial tree.  John takes it out of the box and snaps the four pieces together.

4. Let them choose WHAT to volunteer for.  I e-mail a request and let people choose things they want to do.  Peggy who loves to sews repaired the sleeve on my raincoat.  Barbara who is a computer technician volunteered to help me set up the router for my internet service.  Letting people choose what to do means I do not risk rejection because I have asked the wrong person.

5. Let them choose WHEN to volunteer.  After they volunteer I ask them when would be a good time for them.  Everyone has busy lives so it is less of a burden when I fit into their schedule.

6. Make a list and stick to it.  Before someone comes I make a list of the things I need done so my volunteer knows when he or she is done.  I stick to the list instead of looking around and saying "there is one more thing I need you to do."  This list also reminds me to get materials my volunteers need.  Before John comes to replace the batteries in my smoke detectors I buy 9-volt batteries.

7. 80% rule.  The 80% rule means some things can be mostly correct rather than perfect.  After my stroke I gave myself permission to not make everything perfect.  For example, the seam of my bedspread is supposed to be where the edge of the mattress is (see the black line).
It is only fair to extend the 80% rule to my volunteers.  Nobody wants to hear that they did not do it the way I used to do it.
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