Do not go gently into that good night
Old age should burn and rave at close of day
Rage, rage against the dying of the light
My rage was triggered recently when someone tried to take away my independence. Women at my breakfast club give small gifts for Christmas. To make it easier to take the gifts home, I put them in the bag that came with one of the gifts. The photo shows the hook on the Christmas ornament that kept getting caught on the handle of the bag. As I was struggling I saw a hand reach across the table. The hand disappeared when the rage I felt showed on my face. I should have said "I'm not a young child playing with a sharp knife" so say "may I help you?' homeafterstroke.blogspot.com
This post really touches me right now. A dear friend is stuck in a nursing home because of a badly broken ankle, acquired on the day that she had just sold her home and was about to leave for a multi-day drive to her new place. She has nearby friends who would take her in, but all have 2nd floor bathrooms up steep stairs and she is not yet able to put any weight on the broken limb.
ReplyDeleteHer constant battle with nursing home staff is about exactly this: even though they all seem to genuinely wish her well and truly want her to make a full recovery, they persist in assuming she wants to be 'helped' whenever she is struggling to do something difficult.
(sigh)
I'm so sorry for all of us sometimes.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend's major challenge at such a bad time. I don't want to alienate kind people who ask if I need help so I respond "I can do it but thank you for offering." If I end up in a nursing home I hope I have enough brain cells left to ask CNAs who keep trying to give me unnecessary help if they have such a light caseload that they want to add another needy person to their workload.
ReplyDeleteRebecca, For me, it's simply saying "no thank you." I also have an ongoing fight with helpful hands of others. But by the same token, I'm grateful too.
ReplyDeleteRebecca, thank you for reminding me I made the right choice bringing Bob home after his stroke. My friend, Chris, died shortly after she was left unattended on a free standing commode at the nursing home and fell. As for "grabbers" I understand your frustration, though they mean well I'm sure. Stick to your guns, and thank them with a 'don't worry, I got it!' Which is what I did when someone tried to "help" Bob with something I knew he could do himself -- though I always appreciated those would open doors for us. Often it's a "therapy" in itself to be able to it yourself, which is why I always let Bob struggle to accomplish the things he could which boasted both his confidence and independence. Take care!
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