I didn't think I was vain, but I refuse to wear elastic shoelaces that only come in black, brown, and white. I also refuse to wear shoes with Velcro straps. It would upset me to give a professional presentation or go to a wedding with laces that don't match my shoes or wear shoes with Velcro straps that a 10 year old would be embarrassed to wear to school. I want to wear the color-coordinated laces I paid for. Vanity kept me committed until I got good at tying shoelaces one-handed. There is another reason one-handed shoe tying makes me happy. Having doctors untie my shoes is
startling. Doctor didn't undress me without asking for permission before I had a stroke. This change made me angry because I was a young child the last time this happened to me. It's also frustrating because pulling on the end of the lace (white arrow) turns this mock bow into a knot. I stopped doctors by tucking in the loose end of the lace. Now a moment of silence makes me realize the doctor is staring at my shoes with a puzzled look on his or her face. How can you tie a bow without leaving any free ends? That moment of silence gives me an opportunity to ask if they want me to take off my shoes.
I love it when I get what I want without having to yell.
When I was an OT I understood adapted devices from an intellectual point of view. A stroke taught me about the emotional wallop they can elicit. My reaction to compensation often surprises me. Paradoxically I love using Velcro to stop a small bag from banging against my cane as I walk.
Vanity? Nope. I remember having my children or other students tying my laces for me after a back surgery made me unable to reach them. Now after a stroke, I will gladly use elastic, color coordinated laces for the freedom and "I can do it" attitude it gives me.
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of things I cannot do the same way as before after my stroke, but I take pride in finding ways to be self sufficient. Now being realistic, I know that there will be some things I won't be able to do without help...tying my shoes is not one of those.
BTW I do not have a problem with velcro fastened shoes except the hook and loop side seems to grab everything it touches making getting dressed ten time harder. And my doctors and nurses ASK before they do. It's a dignity compromise.
Actually, my 10-year-old son just learned to tie shoe laces--and he is not alone in his class. I'm not as opposed to Velcro as I used to be ;)
ReplyDeleteIt amazes me that such a small item can evoke such strong feelings. Who knew?
ReplyDeleteThat was a very memorable, devastating moment....when I first realized I couldn't remember how to tie my shoes. Next came telling time...gone too...it was a difficult afternoon. I never take these life skills for granted now. I smile every time I tie my shoes now. I LOVE your ingenuity!!
ReplyDeleteFor shoe tying after stroke try Loopeez Shoe tying aid and their specially designed bi color laces . You can tie one handed unnassited .
ReplyDelete